Tuesday, July 13

mystery solved...sort of

My mom and her four brothers have been stoically wading through the contents of my grandparents’ house as neither my grandma nor my grandpa now live there. Up to now, this has only affected me in my inbox with conspicuous subjects like “desk,” “bedside table,” and “mountain goat leg lamp.” For reasons I can’t get into right now, I am seriously interested in the last.

But recently I received an email attached with pictures of this stuffed rabbit...yes, with a prosthetic hook arm. I have vague memories of it from childhood time spent in my grandparents’ basement rumpus room, but until it showed up again a few weeks ago, I never really considered its existence at all.

Many questions come to mind... Why? How did this happen? Where did it come from? Why does it give
me the creeps? What happened to his legs?! And mostly, What is the likelihood that a rabbit would ever be fitted with a prosthetic arm? I was highly suspicious until Kristen sent me this timely link. Apparently more likely than I thought.

But perhaps most importantly, How did this prosthetic-wearing rabbit come to be in my grandparents’ basement? It would seem that, at some point in time, my dear grandma acquired not one, but two, stuffed rabbits with prosthetic arms for her toy collection. Now, there are one of two options...a)My grandma had a hook-arm rabbit fetish, or b)She had a granddaughter with a prosthetic arm and, wanting me not to feel strange or abnormal, added those rabbits to her collection.
How she found them without the internet is inconceivable.
But the thought that those rabbits had existed in her basement for as long as I can remember, primarily for my benefit, had never before occurred to me; Until now, eleven years after my grandma left this world, when my mother uncovered them, and I unearthed another deepening of my grandmother’s love. And why did she buy two rabbits with fake arms? That is still a mystery.

But what should become of the rabbits now? Send them to me stat, I tell my mother by phone, they have a new career awaiting on my blog. But it was decided that only one rabbit should be sent and his brother should remain with my parents,
as two might be a bit much for one apartment (don’t want to get the neighbors talking). I think they could use some time apart anyway.
Only one thing remains. My unexpectedly inherited one-armed rabbit needs a name. Any ideas?

I love you, Grandma, very very very much.



  1. When naming things, I always go with my good old standby of "Fred." I know it is a seriously generic, and, perhaps, over-used name, however, I have never really found anything quite so satisfying as giving some previously unnamed thing a good "Fred"-ding.

  2. How about the bog standard option: Beatrix? Or in homage to the hero of Trafalgar Square with an eternal pigeon atop his head: Nelson?

  3. And do you have any ideas on why Grandma also gave you a Monkey in a wheelchair?

  4. I can just see the next thing to give the neighbors pause...a whole yard of these: http://bit.ly/bckmEq

    Naming thoughts:
    - a list of famous amputees http://bit.ly/cshZcI
    - Monty (after Killer Bunny in M Python's Q for the Holy Grail)...or just "Sharp-n-Pointy"

    And I'm all out of ideas.

  5. That thing still makes me laugh every time I see it