Some years ago a single woman in Britain with no arms and only one half-formed leg got pregnant. This was rather controversial, as you might imagine. But she made no apologies. Instead, she posed for an artist to make a huge nude sculpture of her, which was later put on display at Trafalger Square in London.
This week, I got to try my hand at mothering. I've been staying with Mountain Guy's three girls while he finishes up a job in North Dakota. I know what you're thinking: must be nice to have an ex girlfriend who watches your children for you. Yes, I'm a saint--or a sucker.
The first morning I walked the girls down to the bus stop, Keeper the dog decided to go to school and jumped right on after them. I had to run onto the bus to retrieve her. Thankfully the driver was amused.
But most everything else is running smoothly. I even survived a trip to the mall on the weekend, something I'm convinced only a teenage girl could enjoy.
So when Tuesday rolled around, I was ready. It was going to be the mother of all mothering days. First, the girls got off to school. Then I headed over to Dragon Boy's house and made him some eggs. While the eggs were on the stove, I threw some laundry into the machine. Then Dragon Boy and I put his beagle in her crate and ran (figuratively) to Target for some needed supplies; and some necessary Starbucks.
As soon as we got home, we let the beagle out, threw the laundry in to dry, put the beagle back in, and we were off again--to see a theater production of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and some other stories, along with what seemed like twelve million other children. I earned extra points navigating through the parking garage and auto pay station, reaching our seats just before the curtain went up.
After the show it was a race to get back home and let Keeper out to pee; but not without stopping first for gas. Did I mention it was like 20 degrees outside with wind? I was reminded of this while doing battle with my credit card and the pump pay station.
When we arrived home, the very excited dog was let out and then I made chicken salads for lunch. I had just cleaned up lunch and begun to read the next chapter of The Indian in the Cupboard to Dragon Boy, when the girls started to arrive home.
As they began homework, I started on chicken stir fry; making it, not eating it. Dinner was nearly done when it was time for Dragon Boy, eldest girl, and I to head back into town. After eldest girl was delivered to her appointment, it was time to take Dragon Boy home and pick up my laundry. Then it was back over to pick up eldest girl and deliver her to a youth group meeting, with a brief stop at a Wendy's drive through on the way.
By this time, I was starting to envision myself in a comfy armchair, feet up, with a beer in my hand. But no! The finish line was in sight. If I went home, I might never leave, so I did what I always like to do when I am already dead tired...I went shopping. Sometime in the next two hours of delirium, I bought a Led Zeppelin CD. When's the last time you can say you've listened to If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and Led Zeppelin in the same day?
Needless to say, when we reached home, it was straight to bed. It may not have been an all-time score-breaker, but I definitely finished at my personal best. I fell asleep with half a beer on the bedside table, to dream of clean underwear.
I used to admire that courageous British lady; now I think she's out of her bloomin' mind. But seriously, to all you moms out there, one arm, two arms, or none, I salute you. And I would never judge you for using a microwave.
OneArmGirl
This week, I got to try my hand at mothering. I've been staying with Mountain Guy's three girls while he finishes up a job in North Dakota. I know what you're thinking: must be nice to have an ex girlfriend who watches your children for you. Yes, I'm a saint--or a sucker.
The first morning I walked the girls down to the bus stop, Keeper the dog decided to go to school and jumped right on after them. I had to run onto the bus to retrieve her. Thankfully the driver was amused.
But most everything else is running smoothly. I even survived a trip to the mall on the weekend, something I'm convinced only a teenage girl could enjoy.
So when Tuesday rolled around, I was ready. It was going to be the mother of all mothering days. First, the girls got off to school. Then I headed over to Dragon Boy's house and made him some eggs. While the eggs were on the stove, I threw some laundry into the machine. Then Dragon Boy and I put his beagle in her crate and ran (figuratively) to Target for some needed supplies; and some necessary Starbucks.
As soon as we got home, we let the beagle out, threw the laundry in to dry, put the beagle back in, and we were off again--to see a theater production of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and some other stories, along with what seemed like twelve million other children. I earned extra points navigating through the parking garage and auto pay station, reaching our seats just before the curtain went up.
After the show it was a race to get back home and let Keeper out to pee; but not without stopping first for gas. Did I mention it was like 20 degrees outside with wind? I was reminded of this while doing battle with my credit card and the pump pay station.
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| Photo courtesy Mañana Mama |
As they began homework, I started on chicken stir fry; making it, not eating it. Dinner was nearly done when it was time for Dragon Boy, eldest girl, and I to head back into town. After eldest girl was delivered to her appointment, it was time to take Dragon Boy home and pick up my laundry. Then it was back over to pick up eldest girl and deliver her to a youth group meeting, with a brief stop at a Wendy's drive through on the way.
By this time, I was starting to envision myself in a comfy armchair, feet up, with a beer in my hand. But no! The finish line was in sight. If I went home, I might never leave, so I did what I always like to do when I am already dead tired...I went shopping. Sometime in the next two hours of delirium, I bought a Led Zeppelin CD. When's the last time you can say you've listened to If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and Led Zeppelin in the same day?
Needless to say, when we reached home, it was straight to bed. It may not have been an all-time score-breaker, but I definitely finished at my personal best. I fell asleep with half a beer on the bedside table, to dream of clean underwear.
I used to admire that courageous British lady; now I think she's out of her bloomin' mind. But seriously, to all you moms out there, one arm, two arms, or none, I salute you. And I would never judge you for using a microwave.
OneArmGirl
I got tired just reading it, but thoroughly enjoyed your wit. Glad you survived!
ReplyDeleteJust a factual correction: the woman in Britain with no arms actually has two foreshortened legs, not just one. With four toes on each foot :-)
ReplyDelete